I simply could not go on eating pounds and pounds of the stuff, without knowing a bit of the history of how chocolate - in its most recent incarnation - came about. I mean, who decided to give it a try, why was it first made into a bonbon and when was the first chocolate bar sold?? If you have ever asked yourself any of the above questions, then read on, ’cause I seem to have found the answers.

Chocolate was a staple of the Mayan and Aztec civilizations. When conquistador Hernan Cortes arrived in what is today Veracruz, Mexico, with less than honorable intentions, he was instead greeted as a god by the emperor Montezuma. To welcome him, a banquet was organized, where a dark, thick potion was served, by a name that sounded like “chocolatl”. Cortez was nothing if not smart, and he realized the big business of chocolate, as soon as he noticed that the native tribes used the cacao beans as currency. He loaded his ships with the pods and sailed home.

The first version of Spanish chocolate was very different in taste and texture from what we are accustomed to today. Slowly, through some changes which included adding sugar and warming up the dark cacao paste, the hot chocolate was born and 17th century Spain fell in love with the stuff. Even Anna of Austria, who became the wife of France’s Louis XIII, had a maid whose sole duty was to prepare the princess’ hot chocolate. Among the reasons for this European love of cocoa, was chocolate’s reputed aphrodisiac and digestive properties. And the fact that it made the drinker “Fat, corpulent, faire and amiable”. Hum… I doubt that Madison Avenue could use the same selling points today.

The Marquise de Sevigne’ wrote of chocolate: “It flatters you for a while, it warms you for an instant; then all of a sudden, it kindles a mortal fever in you. If you are not feeling well, if you have not slept, chocolate will revive you.” Now, that’s a Marquise who knew what she was talking about!!

David Chaillou of Toulouse, was the first known chocolatier, granted a royal 29-year patent in 1659. He had the exclusive privilege of making and selling chocolate, whether in a liqueur form, or as pastilles or bonbons. The only customers were the French aristocrats of the time, as regular citizens were not allowed to partake of this brown gold. But while the French blue bloods kept the secret hidden, the English chocolate house The Coffee Mill and Tobacco Roll sold it to anyone who could afford its outrageously expensive price tag. While French drinking chocolate was only mixed with water, the Brits used milk instead.

Debauve & Gallais - a shop where old style chocolate can still be bought today - was opened in the early 19th century, by the great-great-grandson of David Chaillou, Sulpice Debauve. Horace’s phrase “Utile Dulci” - Useful and Sweet - adorned the front of his shop. By the end of the 19th century, the Fry company and the Cadbury brothers had figured out how to mold chocolate into bars. Rodolphe Lindt of Switzerland gave chocolate a smoother mouth feel and Daniel Peter, another Swiss, was able to add milk to the mixture, thus creating the fortune of the Nestle’ company.

Finally, I’ll leave you with Sulpice Debauve’s instructions on how to correctly eat a great piece of chocolate: “Place a chocolate in the middle of your tongue. Chew slowly, several times. Let the chocolate linger for several seconds, during which time you may notice a warm sensation from the outer coating of cocoa as it melts on the tongue. The bonbon - still resting on the palate - then begins to withdraw into a blend of subtle aromas until finally it overwhelms the palate with all the richness of its flavors.” N-joy!

This week I have a couple of suggestions to feed the tummy, a few to feed our locks - hair, that is, not what keeps out the burglars from our homes! - and even some thought-provoking entertainment. So, without further delay, here they all are!

My Facebook friend Kym sent me the link to this fabulous blog at Spicy Khazana, for South Indian cooking. It’s truly delicious and inspiring. I am planning on making some Muttai Milagu Masala - a spicy egg curry of sorts - because eggs are just so good for us! If you don’t have a cholesterol issue, then they are the best and most complete source of protein, especially if you happen to be a vegetarian. Go ahead, click away and then cook away!

While mentioning cooking blogs, I have to highly recommend Show Me the Curry for all kinds of Indian recipes. It comes with lovely videos, and the preparations - by two charming women - are easy and well thought out. Particularly in tune with this current week’s Adventure on Bombay, you must try their version of the street snack pav bhaji. They have the simplest way ever of explaining the preparation of Indian food. You’ll thank me for the tip.

Next week I’ll have a whole column on foods and supplements that are good for the hair. I noticed that on a vegetarian diet, my own tresses were starting to suffer. The shine was gone, my split ends were bountiful and I was even noticing scalp flakes. Boy, did I put a stop to THAT immediately. I did two things, as quick fixes: ate some fish and gave myself an avocado hair masque. There is a way to make one by mixing your own ingredients, but why, when there is a fantastic one by Burt’s Bees on the market?! It works miracles and won’t put a hole in your wallet. Spread it all over, on wet or dry hair, as soon as you get up in the morning. Do your usual morning routine and then take a shower, shampooing the whole thing out and then using your own conditioner as a quick rinse. You’ll notice immediate and fabulous results. I got comments from people on the street about how beautiful my hair was… And shiny, bouncy, full hair is usually NOT one of my qualities!

For a seafood extravaganza, which also is amazing for the hair follicles, you must try out The Mermaid Inn in NYC’s East Village. I could not believe that such wonderful fish came paired with such an inexpensive bill. I tried the mahi mahi while my friend Julie had the salmon and both were superb. Their spicy Bloody Mary comes with a shrimp garnish, instead of the typical celery stick. And at the end of the meal, all delivered by the most gracious and helpful of restaurant servers ever, we got a nice little cup of complimentary chocolate pudding added in and our very own “Fortune Fish” to take home. In case you are not familiar with what a “Fortune Fish” is, they are those little plastic paper cutout fish, which one places on one’s hand to predict the level of one’s own passion… Depending on the amount of movement of the fish… I got “Hot and Spicy”. What will yours be?

Finally, I want to recommend “The Darjeeling Limited” by Wes Anderson, now on DVD. It is possibly THE best film about India I have ever viewed. And I have viewed a LOT. It manages to capture the spirit of Rajastan - where it was filmed - and the seraphic inner and outer smiles that “Incredible India” always manages to put on her visitors’ faces. There, on the screen, one can see clearly the colors of the country and the beauty of the people, but what Wes Anderson manages to communicate as well are the sounds, the smells and feelings of the place. The soundtrack, with an eclectic mix of The Kinks, The Rolling Stones, songs from Merchant & Ivory films and instrumental music from Hindi film oldies, is really touching and appropriate, every step of the journey. Both Adrien Brody and Owen Wilson, quite obviously felt their characters’ journeys deeply, as their performances are both subtle and grandiose. And a big round of applause goes to Jason Schwartzman, who shares writing credits on the film and is wonderful in his own right. With cameos by Irfan Khan, Anjelica Houston and Bill Murray, as well as a charismatic performance by Waris Ahluwalia as the train’s Chief Steward, the film belongs in a separate class with a rare few movies that one is happy to watch again and again… and again…

This is a recipe I found in the Mumbai Mirror - a local newspaper - the last time I was in Bombay. Bombayites are serious about their coffee! Every corner has a Barista or a Cafe Coffee Day, every hotel has a trendy coffee house and now chocolate/hot cocoa cafes are popping up all over the place. This is the city to stop, drink and mingle, so I guess the trend is a natural extension of its overall character. Anyway, the recipe did not specify what types of beans to use, but I found that Ethiopian Roast coffee lends itself best to any type of Arabic coffee drink. Trader Joe’s has a great Ethiopian blend. Let me know your own takes on this spicy classic.

• 100 grams coffee beans - whole
• 25 grams cardamom, powdered
• 5 grams saffron threads
• 10 grams ginger - dried, powdered
• 2 3/4 cups of filtered water

Roast the coffee beans in a non-stick pan, on a low flame and turning often. Then mix with the remaining dry ingredients and grind in a spice/coffee grinder Boil in the water for about 1 hour. Strain through a cloth sieve - they are commonly available at Hispanic food shops or ethnic markets - and serve hot. Sugar is to taste, as with all coffee. Cream is a bit of a deviation off the path, but still allowed… Savor it with some fresh Medjool dates, from Whole Foods. And no, they are not evil, just expensive but their selection is almost always the best! N-joy!!

Yes, I know you have all been waiting anxiously for the follow-up to Part 1 of my very personal guide to Bombay. Some of you even threatened to hold you breath until the column was published. But no need… Here is goes. So, last week I took you through the ins and outs of the preparations necessary to truly appreciate and live your visit to Bombay to the maximum. This week, I’ll try to stick to the cold, hard facts. Keep in mind that typically I am not your girl for a lot of sightseeing, but even that in this city is not your average, corny and overcrowded with tourists in boy scouts outfits kind of deal. As far as shopping goes, there are a few choice destinations and a lot of side places to hit. I say, stick to the basic, high end shops and browse through only a couple of staples road markets. And for food and nightlife, well, as is true in NYC, the trendy places change almost weekly, so I’ll try to point you in the right direction but I suggest also doing a little investigating yourself. Go ahead, ask that cool looking guy sitting in the lobby of your hotel smoking a cigarette. Or approach that hip looking Indo-chic girl with her mobile glued to her ear. It might not only get you going to the right spot, but with a bit of an entourage as well… Do check out Bombay Part 1 for details on where to stay, required reading before heading to Bombay, etc.

SIGHTSEEING

Perhaps this is true of most seaside cities, but I believe there is nothing like Bombay seen from a boat. And the best kind of boat is one of those inexpensive launch tours that take you to Elephanta Caves from the Gateway of India. There is something magical about viewing the Taj Mahal Hotel disappear in the distance… It just feels like Bollywood all the way. Never mind that most films on or about Bombay use this location in the pivotal scene of the movie. Off the top of my head, I know Irfan Khan gets beaten up here while John Abraham falls in love, in different movies of course. Then, the Muslim girl/Hindu boy love story of Mani Ratman’s “Bombay” is cemented right in front of the Gateway of India and even 70s heartthrob Shashi Kapoor is seen walking out into Apollo Bunder in an important scene of the Merchant and Ivory classic “Bombay Talkie”. Is it any wonder that taking this short day trip always takes me to a different world?! The way to do it is quite simple, though not always painless. Get yourself down to Gateway of India, around 9 to 10 a.m., possibly on a weekday. I have done it on a weekend as well, but it’s a lot more crowded and once at Elephanta, you might have tons of Indian tourists taking your photo in front of the carvings… Mindboggling. Anyway, find a hawker that seems cuter/smarter/louder/more personable than the others. You’ll have plenty of choice and whatever is your preferred standard of selection, go for it! Then, pay for your round-trip ticket, should less than 200 rupees (I paid around 150, but prices change almost weekly…) and have someone from the boat help you onboard. THIS is the tricky part, as the boats are all tied together, and usually the ticket you’ll have bought will be for the very last one… six other launches off. So, arm yourself with nerves of steel - and BTW, a nice pair of rubber soled shoes doesn’t hurt on this occasion - and jump from boat to boat to boat, until you can get a seat on your chosen vessel. I usually sit in the back, since it makes for a good view going out, and is less windy and noisy than the front of the launches. Once at Elephanta, there is a minimal entry fee to pay, and about 150 steep steps to climb up to the caves, laden with various peddlers of every useless souvenir you can possibly imagine. If you are thinking “Your Name on a Grain of Rice” and “Miniatures of Hindu Gods on Bodhi Tree Leaves” then you are absolutely right!! But the sellers’ bantering does help pass the time and acts a bit like an Ipod on a long run: distracts you from just how far you still have to go to get to your goal. Caves aficionados claim that Elephanta’s aren’t as beautiful as many of the other ones throughout India. But the greatness of these caves doesn’t lie only in their Hindu significance - they are said to be the abode of Lord Shiva and the Trimurti of Elephanta is truly worthy of its Unesco World Heritage title - rather in the whole experience. A simple day trip from Bombay, and one is transported to a faraway world, filled with confrontational monkeys, guards with long sticks and even longer mustaches and countless families enjoying a day away from the hustle and bustle of the city. It’s a must-see on any visit to Bombay. Once you have spent the day beholding the beauty of the caves and have set foot on dry land again, then treat yourself to a drink inside the Taj Hotel. Try out either the Harbour Bar or the Sea Lounge for some overpriced - albeit WELL worth their price - drinks.
So, on day 1 of your sightseeing tour of Bombay, you will have hit FOUR different attractions. WOW! On a different day, I suggest passing Flora Fountain, on the way to Colaba Causeway for shopping. I also would try to ask the taxi driver to show you Shivaji Terminus - renamed from the English Victoria Terminus - which today is still one of the busiest train stations in India. Working upwards from South Bombay, check out Chowpatty Beach after 5 p.m. which is around the time when your tummy will be needing a snack. Try to steer clear of anything that might have been sitting around for too long, but go instead for a hot, buttery Pav Bhaji, a soft bun filled with spicy potato mixture, the safest - and possibly the tastiest! - of options. If you are staying in Juhu, a similar experience is Juhu Beach, though Chowpatty is the original fun spot and must be experienced at least once. Oh, almost forgot about Crawford Market… It’s an interesting outing and the architecture is quite impressive, but don’t spend too much of your precious time there. In Breach Candy, on the other side from Chowpatty, check out the Mahalaxmi Temple, one of the most famous Hindu temples of Bombay. On the road up to Bandra, you’ll notice Haji Ali, and impressive mosque which boasts a dargah - tomb - built in 1431. The days to visit are any when the tide is low, as the narrow, rail-less passageway is swept by the ocean during high tide. The popular worship days are Thursdays and Fridays, though be prepared for large crowds as it is estimated that as many as 40,000 pilgrims visit the shrine weekly and the highest concentration is on those two days. Up in Bandra, check out Mount Mary’s Catholic Church, to complete your idea of how religiously diverse this city really is. If you are lucky enough to stay in Juhu, then finish each and every one of your afternoons in this city by taking a leisurely walk on Juhu Beach. Drink some fresh coconut water, eat some roasted corn - insist on one that is cooked fresh for you - and even sit at one of the seaside stands to taste a dosa or some pav bhaji, while watching families stroll and young hotties jog. Truly, even for a demanding girl like me, Bombay never runs out of fun!

WHERE TO EAT

I have a few favorites, but I cannot guarantee that they are the hottest or hippest spots. I like them for a pleasantly light dinner and a drink, since I usually fill up on snacky foods while in Bombay. This is the city of street food, though always take great care to avoid cold snacks and food that may have not been cooked fresh in front of you. It sounds harder than it actually is. I also have another very personal secret. I use Gentian extract right before all my meals, while traveling. It is bitter - the main ingredient in Angostura Bitters, which are quite common in the West Indies - use only about five drops on you tongue and swallow. It is supposed to get your gastric juices flowing, so that even if something tainted comes into your system, the natural acid from your stomach will kill it. I can guarantee that I have never suffered from “Delhi Belly”‘ while in India. Hey, that’s an achievement in itself! And, while my family in Italy was afflicted by a full day of “Driving the Big White Bus” and also, hum, riding it, because of some tainted mussels, I watched TV, unaffected by the devastation. Girl Scout’s honor. OK, back to restaurants. So, for brunch, try out the JW Marriott. Their brunch is famous city-wide and don’t be surprised to sit among some big name local celebrities, even if you won’t be quite sure of who they are. It’s a divine brunch, but do not be afraid to be a bit tough with the hostess when she insists that the window tables are already taken. A simple “I wish to sit by the window and I know something IS available” will do. Magically, a spot will open up for you. There are also some fantastic new restaurants at the Taj Mahal Hotel, including one each for Moroccan food and Nouveau Indian cuisines. The Oberoi’s coffee shop and their frontier food spot Kandahar are also great spots to see and be seen. Indigo, on a narrow side street near the Taj is also fantastic and can be an all night spot, the kind where you have dinner and then stay over for drinks and a cigar afterwards. Olive Bar and Kitchen is a similar deal but up by Bandra, which makes it easier for those who decide against a hotel stay in South Bombay. Check out their review on World’sBestBars.com which - by the way - is a great source of information for bars around the world. This concludes my food section. Now, on to my very own forte - SHOPPING!

SHOPPING

There is no shortage of shopping venues or beautiful things to buy in Mumbai. The dilemma I face each and every time I am in the city is just how many places I can hit, so as to be home in time to get ready for dinner and then step back into the evening traffic, which means it will then take me a good hour just to go around the corner… But there is an organized system to my madness and it goes something like this: hit South Bombay one day, hit Bandra’s high shops the next and then, if you still need more, hit the Santa Cruz market and even Linking Road - on foot - the third. On the first day, stop at the Oberoi Towers Shopping Center, which should take you the good part of a morning. Make sure to check out the two separate Amrapali jewelry shops, one for silver and costume jewelry, the other for gold and gems. Also find the couture purse shop Cheemo, Ritu Kumar’s Label and the shawl shop with the best quality and prices - #31, Khazir Sons. When feeling peckish, there is a lovely spot to sit and have a veggie burger and the likes. It’s called the “Gourmet Shop and Snack Bar” and it is directly across from the Citibank branch, to the north of the complex. Alright, now onto a taxi and to Colaba Causeway. You’ll feel a lot like Hugo Baumgartner - see “Required Reading” in Part 1 - navigating your way through the crowds of the arcade, but do look out for some of the best bindi, adhesive mendhi designs and stick-on tattoo vendors you will ever encounter. Metro shoes is an institution, as is now a totally anticlimactic Lacoste shop. There used to be a couple of young men selling bootleg DVDs, CDs and t-shirts of the latest Bollywood hits, but the last time none of them were around… Anyway, for CDs and DVDs, there is always Linking Road. Once you have checked out each and every stand on the Causeway, then walk towards the ocean and get to the Taj Hotel fairly easily. You won’t need a taxi for this, as it is literally around the corner. In the Taj, stop, relax, have a tea or a drink, and check out their shopping arcade. Nothing to write home about, mostly because of the very high prices, but the bookshop, Nalanda, stands out as one of the best for good literature, in English. By now, it might be time to retire to your hotel, or you could check out Crawford Market if you so desire. It is still a “wet market” so be prepared for an assault on your senses.
On your next shopping day, check out all that Bandra has to offer. I mean, Manish Malhotra, Ritu Kumar and FabIndia all have shops here. It’s a bit of an in and out with having to jump across from place to place. But well worth it if you are looking for something in particular. Shopper’s Stop has great supermarkets around Bombay and one in Bandra. The Bandstand is a good place to chill and walk a bit in the late afternoon, and Linking Road has loads of shoes and a couple of good music/movies shops. On the way back to Juhu, you could ask the rickshaw driver to drop you at the Barista, on Tara Road. Yes, BTW, when moving from Juhu to Bandra and back, do use rickshaws. Much more fun and truly inexpensive! Then, if staying at the Marriott, walk a couple of steps and you are HOME! So, I am all shopped out, and you? If you still have some steam, look for Rocky S, Rohit Bal and various other hot designers of the moment. Their shops are scattered at opposite ends of Bombay, but worth seeing if you know their wares. All that is left for me to say is… N-joy!

YES, it’s true, our own favorite sinful temptation of the senses - OK, second favorite, after sex?! - can now become the most moisturizing face masque around. And for a fraction of the cost of any beauty product on the market. Of course, it makes sense that something considered a powerful antioxidant food, such as chocolate, would make a great beauty treatment as well.

Before slathering on the masque, I suggest a little sugar scrub, to make the skin doubly soft and help rub off some of those unsightly bumps and impurities. For the scrub, follow the recipe below or even make up one of your own, following the same idea of one part coarse to one part oil/moisturizer. The aloe gel is for soothing and repair.

SUGAR SCRUB

• 2 Tbls. fine crystal brown sugar
• 2 Tbls. avocado oil
• 1 drop of aloe vera gel
• 2 drops of essential oils - such as rose for dry skin and lavender for tightening the pores

Mix all the ingredients together and then apply, with circular motions, on lightly dampened skin. Be gentle in your touch and leave it on for a minute or two to allow the natural glycolic acid in the sugar to do its magic. Rinse, pat dry and follow up with the masque recipe below.

CHOCOLATE FACIAL MASQUE

• 1/3 cup cocoa powder
• 3 Tbls full fat heavy cream
• 2 Tsps. cottage cheese
• 1/4 cup honey
• 3 Tsps. oatmeal

The best way to amalgamate all the ingredients is to give it a quick spin in your blender, mini food processor or Magic Bullet. Use on dry face, after your scrub. Then relax in a bath, or read a book lying down, for about 15 minutes. Actually, the way the model is doing it in the photo looks good too, with black tea bags over the eyes to de-puff! Rinse and pat skin dry, without rubbing. Voila! You are now a new and improved - not to mention sweeter - version of you!

Image courtesy of Manuel Antonio

Appropriately, well for this girl’s blog anyway, Whole Foods is having their own “Adventures In India” food festival, running the entire month of March. I visited the store on Union Square in NYC and was really impressed by their take-home double serving selections of Palak Paneer - spinach with cheese, Aloo Matter - potatoes with peas, Bhindi Masala - a fragrant okra dish and even a rocking Vegetarian Biryani, which is the ultimate in flavor. There are lovely free booklets available with recipes and spice suggestions and the prepared hot foods in the store have the signature of Cafe Spice executive chef Rajesh Bhardwaj. Truly ingenious!

If you are planning a trip on your own, I highly recommend checking out a wonderful site run by a truly adventurous woman, Beth Whitman. Click on Wanderlust and Lipstick for all the best advice on how to travel as a single woman - or even as a single man, for that matter. I recently had the great pleasure of meeting Ms. Whitman at the NY Times Travel Fair and she is both delightful and insightful, usually a tough combination to master. She has successfully written a great travel book titled “Wanderlust and Lipstick - The Essential Guide to Women Traveling Solo”, a sort of general go-to resource for single women travelers, and is in the process of writing a more specific one on India, a country she adores as well. I love her newsletter and am addicted to her writing. Try it out for yourself, it’s truly a godsend for the solo traveler.

Lately, I have become very, very conscious of paper waste in the world. I think the fools who distribute all those AM and Metro newspapers - which litter the subway here in NYC - should be shot and I want to strangle those people in my building who get two newspapers delivered every day, which I then see - unopened and unread - exploding out of the common recycle bin. Now, here’s a novel idea… Don’t get the paper if you’re not going to read it! Check out the endless variety of online editions of everything from the NY Times, to Newsweek, to even Italian polemical staple L’espresso and global newspapers from all over the world. The ultimate: an online fashion magazine like Chic Today, which doesn’t even come in a hard copy version. Go ahead then, join the “revolution” and start saving our planet TODAY!!

While we are on the subject of saving the planet, I recently found out that music extraordinaire Rufus Wainwright wants us all to switch off the lights. He calls it a “Blackout Sabbath”. For a full twelve hours, on Saturday June 21st - the summer solstice - between the hours of noon and midnight, we should just unplug and enjoy some quiet darkness. Why not give it a try and find something fun to do in the dark, all three hours of it on that particular day. I think the idea rocks, although we cannot then go and blame Mr. Wainwright for the surge in baby births around March 21st, 2009… If June just seems like such a long time away, don’t worry. I’ll be reminding you of this closer to the date.

Well, now that I have done my best to save the planet for this week, I will add something to The List that is bound to do environmental harm: nail polish. The smell alone is enough to send the ozone layer screaming from the earth, no?! But a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do to be pretty and glamorous, so here we go. If you can manage it, get your hands on Chanel’s Le Vernis Blue Satin, the hot new version of its popular Black Satin. It’s the color of the spring and already on E-bay for nearly double its retail price, which should give you an idea of its hotness factor. You know those cute toes of ours are going to be looking very berry delicious with a hot new blue pedi and matching dark jeans?! I found mine at Chanel.com which is a rocking site and makes for a very luxurious shopping experience. N-joy!

Bombay always has a way of teaching me about life. Valentine’s Day two years ago, it taught me the power of gossip and how that insidious worded threat can ruin something special between two people, even if that something is a simply fabulous friendship. This Valentine’s Day I also learned a lesson that I wished I didn’t have to learn. Apart from having the message reinforced that you cannot make someone love you exactly the way you think they should, I found out that what sometimes feels amazing in person, looks a lot different when the heat of the moment, the hormones and the object of your affection are not in front of you.

I love. I am Italian and not afraid to use that word. For those of you who might think that the name of my blog means I don’t deal in that emotion, well, let me explain myself. The title of my manuscript, which is the same as the name of this blog, means that I do not feel unhappy to have missed out on the experience of being married - thus far. I would love to be a wife and a mother but meanwhile, I don’t long for the life I do not have and I enjoy the wonderful possibilities that are in the life I lead. I look around and discover every day that I have it GREAT! Of course, while enjoying my nubile status, I also really like men. VERY much. So I am always ecstatic when a fabulous specimen of the male persuasion comes my way. This happened recently and that’s when Bombay came in handy, with her lessons to be taught.

He and I met in a totally fated way. When I came home after our proper first date, I thanked all the stars in the sky for every bad experience of the past and the myriad of men who had unwittingly contributed to my still single status. Instead of asking “Why so late” I could only wonder what I had done to deserve him. It was probably our first week together that spoiled me emotionally and has made the last month one of the most difficult in my life. Maybe before I left he had promised too much, maybe I had come to expect too much of such a young relationship. Possibly a combination of the two, as is often the case in life. So, in the middle of my treacherous month away from him, Valentine in Bombay happened to me again.

Although I should preface what comes next by explaining that Valentine’s Day is not a traditionally celebrated holiday in India and it is frowned upon for being Non-Indian by the Hindu fundamentalists BIG time! - this year the local papers were chock-full of love poems, personal dedications and schmaltzy photos of happy couples rubbing noses, Eskimo-style. I longed to be near the object of my affections but somehow, when the end of the day came, I had not heard from him. I knew I longed for him, how could he not long for me? I fretted and worried and texted away my words of disdain, only to discover that I did not like that side of my personality at all. In his usual manner, he answered calmly, with gentle texts and pointed out - softly - our relatively fresh and new “relationship”.

My Valentine’s celebration was spent in the lush oasis of the Marriott in Juhu. A great, star-studded kind of hotel, with a lavish buffet housed in a room as big as a football field. The dessert table alone is probably as big as my apartment in NYC. Apart from those kinds of sweets, my eyes had their own candy in the form of the hottest young Hindi film actor a girl’s view can ever behold (check out who it is in the Bombay Adventure). But even with such a hunk, I could only think of him, back in NYC… If only… I hope… I wish… That’s when Bombay smacked me on the head. “Enjoy yourself and remember your own words for once - the journey IS as important as the destination - and don’t miss out on the wonders that are all around you.”

I have come back to NYC with my head still buzzing from that virtual thump on the head. I wonder if it’s OK to want more, even early on in a relationship. I wonder if his silence on Valentine’s was simply a mistake - we are all entitled to those - or a sign of something worse. I wonder why I can never be content with what is right in front of me and perpetually yearn for another place, another moment, another situation. Yet, as fickle as I am, I never yearn for another man. I wonder why a month can be the shortest time and the longest period ever, both rolled into one. Long for me, short for him, maybe, since my return has been accepted with a lukewarm reception. Could he be hurt? I know I am. I question my needs, my desires, my constant exigency when it comes to love. I am not greedy about anything else in life. I eat moderately, I drink sporadically, I can find the biggest pleasure in the smallest things, but when I am faced with a man I like, I hungrily want more. I can see how from his perspective, he didn’t see the necessity for constant communication between us, after less than a month of dating, yet he still gave it to me. Perhaps one day I’ll learn. In the meanwhile, my friend Val sent me these lines from “The Four Agreements” by don Miguel Ruiz as a reminder. Lets all thank her for the wise, wise words:
“Be impeccable with your word.
Never make assumptions.
Always do your best.
Never take anything personally.”

OK, so this week’s adventure is about my favorite city in the world. Bombay. The most amazing place on earth, both fantastic and infuriating, invigorating and enervating, astoundingly rich and shockingly poor, home to the biggest and brightest movie industry on the planet - Bollywood. My secret dream in life - well, won’t be so secret anymore now - is to live there one day… A little, brightly decorated, high floor apartment up in Juhu, near the beach, so I can take walks on the sand every evening and partake of the fragrant roasted corn and fresh coconut water while watching the sun set over the Arabian Sea. Even the sunset is remarkable in Bombay. It goes just far enough to show off its red, fiery display and then disappears into the low clouds - pollution - barely short of the horizon. In the city of “NO” and “It’s Not Possible” even the sun plays hard to get. So, after writing all this, why do I personally love the city so much? First and foremost, it feels like… home. Surprisingly, when the chaos of rush hour forces you to spend two hours in a car/rickshaw to go the same distance which usually takes ten minutes tops, even when the attitude of most around you is cranky, at best, and even when the dirty air begins to clog up your nose so that breathing in and out of the mouth becomes dangerously inevitable, Bombay rocks! That one Muslim teenage boy, Salim, who sells the Mid Day newspapers on the side streets near Bandra Bandstand, doesn’t speak a word of English, nor I any Marathi. Yet he and I manage long, intricate conversations about politics and the most prominent members of the city’s social scene using hand gestures, eye expressions and a mixture of Hindi, Italian and laughter. Whenever someone pulls that most testing of answers “It will not be possible, Madam”, I relish snapping them back into the result I want by using just the right words, uttered in a calm yet firm tone of authority. This city, which is renowned for challenging the power of survival of everyone who comes to be in it, makes me feel like one of the keepers of its impenetrable secret. I remember the first time I visited Bombay, nearly ten years ago. All throughout my stay, I had this constant feeling that something amazing was happening just around the corner from me. I knew it was NOT happening where I was, but there was something spicy in the air that made me promise to myself that I would discover what IT was. Although I never found that single “secret”, I did find out a lot of what lies “just around the corner” in Bombay. So, take a stroll with me on a weekend getaway to this glamorously grungy city of my dreams. Oh, and by the way, the name itself - BOMBAY - is just so incredibly sexy!

REQUIRED READING

It is important to go to Bombay - OK Mumbai for those of you who wish to be politically correct with the Marathi pronunciation - well prepared. Let me preface this by pointing out that nothing can really prepare you for the sensory overload you are bound to experience in Bombay, but reading a couple of books and maybe skimming through a few newspapers and magazines will help you to get an idea of what to expect on the whole. The absolute bible for anyone who wants to visit Bombay, or simply craves a great read about the city, is Suketu Mehta’s “Maximum City - Bombay Lost and Found”. No other book has ever shed so much light on a single city as Mr. Mehta’s opus on the city of his youth, where he returned to live as an adult so he could discover it further. His work is what I personally refer back to, time and time again and I admit, though it isn’t in any way, shape or form a travel book, it has guided me through many a difficult situation. Consider it a preparatory course in behavior, expectations and attitude necessary to enjoy your trip to the very, hum… Maximum! I also recommend reading “Baumgartner’s Bombay” by Anita Desai. It is strictly fiction but Ms. Desai’s writing does convey the sense of the city in its fullness, down to the smells and sounds of the impossibly congested Colaba Causeway. I found her description of the city, as seen through the eyes of the elder Jewish-German “refugee” Baumgartner, very helpful, particularly in understanding which invisible lines a foreigner should never try to cross. Check out Amazon.com to purchase both of those titles. After the serious books, a quick glance at Indian newspapers, such as Mid Day, The Times of India - Mumbai edition ONLY, please! - and the Indian Express are a good lesson in local color. Click on AllYouCanRead.com for updated editions of Mid Day and Indian Express. Click on PressDisplay.com for the front pages of Times of India and other Bombay papers each and every day, though you’ll need to pay to read the entire edition. l personally ADORE the idea of newspapers online since it is so fantastically eco-friendly. Of course, pick up a couple of Bollywood gossip rags, such as Filmfare and Stardust, so you can catch up on all the hot filmi action. And last - but NOT to be forgotten - is Vogue India, which will singlehandedly make you Desi Chic enough to get into any hot restaurant of the moment and hot enough to fit into the understated yet trendy atmosphere of all luxury hotel restaurants, be it in Colaba, Nariman Point, Bandra or Juhu.

HOW TO GET THERE

Luckily, these days it is incredibly easy to fly over to Bombay from NYC for a quick shopping dash. Delta has a direct flight from JFK for around $960 and Continental offers a similar fare, give or take $20, leaving from Newark. I checked for the beginning of April, being flexible with dates, but rates don’t change all that much. I used to fly through Delhi, when Continental had not started its Mumbai route, but now it doesn’t really make any sense to lose the day in Delhi, unless you really wish to combine the two cities and pull a full shopping bonanza in the process. There are ways to arrive in Delhi and then depart from Bombay, with Continental, my all-time favorite airline. If you do choose to combine the two cities, I found the best national flights - for your Delhi/Mumbai segment - to be on Jet Airways. Somehow, this company is always cheaper and better serviced than the competition.

WHERE TO STAY

Ahhhhh, I am, in this case, the most spoiled of pampered travelers. In Bombay, I choose to stay only at the top - five-star plus - hotels, since the difference between those and the lower grade ones is like night and day. The two star Hotel Sea Side in Juhu is nicknamed the “Hotel Suicide” by the locals, which should help in giving you an idea… If you are going to be in the city of glitz and glamour - albeit with constantly busted sidewalks which make walking as perilous as it must have been in Kabul at the height of the Soviet war - you might as well treat yourself to the best. There are two options, as far as placement - meaning YOUR personal geographical placement. You can choose South Bombay - Colaba or Nariman Point - hence naturally going for the Taj Mahal Hotel or the Oberoi. Or, you can stay in Juhu, at the JW Marriott. The Ramada to its south and the Best Western Emerald just north of it are also acceptable, though not as fashionable a name or as desired a location. I mean, for Valentine’s Day brunch at the Marriott, I sat two tables away from my FAVORITE Bollywood hunk Riteish Deshmukh. It doesn’t get any better than that! Though I admit his fantastically full head of hair and sleek, golden, fluid body did distract me from the grandiose dessert spread included in the lavish buffet… But I digress! The JW Marriott runs about $400 a night, all taxes included and based on double occupancy. The rate, of course, does not change if you occupy it solo. Ramada and Best Western run respectively $260 and $140 - giving you some idea what to expect! - while the Taj Mahal is between $315 to $450, depending on the location of the room. The “Heritage” or Palace Wing is the most expensive, while the new rooms in the Tower are slightly more affordable. The Oberoi, with its adjoining Towers, also has a similar rate system, based on location of the rooms. Now, there is a third, though untried by yours truly, alternative and that is to stay midway, in Bandra, at the Taj Lands’ End, though not for the purpose of saving money, as their rooms start at the high $300s. I personally really enjoy the calm of returning to my hotel in Juhu in the evenings. Away from the hustle of South Bombay and with a cool, comfy room facing the Arabian Sea, it really does make all the day’s stress, from shopping and eating way too much, go away. Plus, there is nothing as invigorating as a late afternoon walk on Juhu Beach, surrounded by families and jogging Mumbaiwalle - Hindi for “people of Bombay” - with the quiet, warm evening wind running through your hair.

Anyway, Bombay is just too lengthy a subject to tackle in one go, so stay tuned for the next installment, where you’ll find all the eating, shopping and sightseeing stuff that dreams are made of. Till next time…