When something delicious comes my way in life, I have to share it. So, when I recently went to visit my injured friend at her home in midtown, I was compelled to buy some cupcakes from Bruce’s Bakery, just a block away from her. We then talked, laughed and ate together, remembering why it’s so amazing to have friends in one’s life.

Anyway, everyone, it seems, is making cupcakes these days: Magnolia - featured in the series “Sex and the City” - Buttercup Bake Shop, Cupcake Cafe, my local neighborhood bakery - Something Sweet - and even Trader Joe’s. But Bruce’s have a twist, a gimmick… The frosting is freshly applied, to order, when you have chosen the flavor you desire. So, the lovely shopkeeper Michelle applied dense and gooey chocolate frosting to the chocolate cake cupcakes I picked out and off I went with my booty to my friend’s. But I am MOST definitely going back. For the “Brown Bonnet”, which is a vanilla cupcake with vanilla frosting, then dipped in melted chocolate, and for the Oreo Top, which needs no further explanation. Try out this delicacy in NYC, on First Avenue and 57th Street. Or check out Bruce’s Bakery online. N-joy!

I was recently contacted by Phase, the man behind “The Phase Files”, an online blog. You’ll find the link to it on my blogroll, to the bottom right. He contacted me to let me know how he had enjoyed my blog and it turns out, I really enjoy his writing also. I am proud to have him on the Happily Unmarried Ever After site, introducing himself and even lending one of his essays for my readers to sample… Once you are left wanting for more, click on the link and find yourself in the middle of all new adventures, from a male POV. Below is his own introduction to this audience, followed by a piece from his “New Beginning” chapter. It’s particularly poignant for those of you who always wanted to know what guys think of us women… N-joy!

“The Phase Files is a collection of factual and humorous stories recounting my experiences with women. Each phase represents a different chapter of my life where I have different expectations and goals concerning my relationships with the opposite sex. I implement a personal anecdote in each story to illustrate my state of mind and provide dialogue to contribute to its authenticity.

My goal is to ultimately publish a book consisting of my experiences with women as well as provide advice. There are several situations where men who date feel trapped, pressured, and conflicted. I am attempting to communicate these scenarios through my own personal stories and provide advice for men who experience these dilemmas. I intend for my stories to be comical while realistic because I am experienced at dating and have resorted to extreme behavior to achieve my well-roundedness.

NEW BEGINNING:

I graduated from college two weeks ago and I am eager to start my new life with different priorities and expectations. I am sitting in my bedroom at home in New York reminiscing and regret the degradation of my moral values during college and transformation into the person I always loathed. Going into college as a freshman I was naïve, socially inexperienced, and sexually deprived and was prepared to sacrifice everything I stood for to progress in all of these areas. I dedicated myself to building my self-confidence through superficial outlets in the gym, being the social butterfly at parties, and by flirting and hooking up with several women. This became a way of life for me, which many college students can relate to, however I made it a point to be the man who all the guys admired. I realize how I needed to be promiscuous to compensate for the lack of positive attention I had in my youth. This player mentality became a way of life and inspired me to exploit and lead on several girls who were genuinely interested in pursuing future relationships. I realize now that it’s time to move forward and pursue a monogamous relationship.
I call one of my friends and explain that I am ready and motivated to find a girlfriend but bars and nightclubs have not traditionally been conducive for me to find a legitimate partner. He informs me that several people our age are resorting to alternative outlets to branch out to meet new dating prospects. I sign up for JDate, the largest online community for Jewish singles and create a free profile. I do not have any serious expectations but am willing to give it a test run. Within fifteen minutes of posting my profile, I receive an instant message from a girl my age who’s interested in learning more about me and my background. I check out her profile and am genuinely interested in learning more about her. Later in the conversation, I inform the girl there is a major Jewish singles-event taking place downtown later on that night in four bars where over 5,000 Jewish people RSVP’d. She eagerly accepts my invitation and we exchange phone numbers.
Meanwhile uptown, my friends Bergers and DangerMack are excited to meet and observe several single Jewish women firsthand. The pre-gaming festivities are under way and I explain how I got in touch with a girl earlier in the day and how this event is spelling out to be an infestation of sexy and desperate single women. I am not convinced in the least that this girl is a keeper but at the very least I know she will give me a good time. She agrees to meet me after one conversation and I am shelving my conscience for another night since I haven’t been home a week and want to enjoy myself.

Friday Night

10:30: Bergers, DangerMack and I take a cab the Meatpacking/Chelsea area and split up to check out the different bars and see where the best looking women are partying. I receive a call from my girl and she tells me she’s at The Park bar, and I tell her to wait for me outside so we can waltz in together.
10:45: I prevent the first encounter from being awkward as I see her a half-block away and smile. I am excited to set a positive first impression and as I pull up to her and say hello I firmly grab her hand and proceed on going to the front of the line. No one raises their voice and I assertively take control of the situation by getting us into the venue with a fake name on the list and paying less than half of the actual price. She is very impressed and wants to become better acquainted at the lounge across the dance floor cluttered with energetic 20 year olds swinging their hips to the funk and retro 90’s hiphop music.
11:00: I demonstrate higher value by smiling and making her feel fortunate enough to be my date. Playing off her insecurities, which I immediately noticed in our conversation online, I instruct her to buy a round of drinks. She complies and orders a round of two Long Island Iced Teas and we gravitate towards the lounge area across the room. At this point I am buzzed from the pre-gaming and with a better glance of the girl’s face I am captivated to spend the rest of my night with her.
11:10: We sit down at a flashy nouveau red bench adjacent to the other couples and impending hook ups. I comment how the scene is out of my element since I am more accustomed to going out to smaller bars and house parties. She tells me how she’s a social butterfly and is well acquainted to all of the different types of social venues in the city since she graduated from college in the city. I am drunk and ask her to tell me her name and she embarrassingly laughs and tells me she forgot mine as well. I laugh and cannot comprehend her long Jewish sounding last name so I decide to call her Hawk for the remainder of the night. It’s manifested in her body language with her legs crossed with her foot grazing against my shin and forced laughs at weak humor… She is interested. For the sake of killing time and deciding if she is worth anymore of mine, since there are several other attractive girls at the venue, I test her.
“So you tell me you graduated from school in the city, what are you doing with yourself these days?”
Hawk is determined to present herself well as she illustrates several signs of preliminary emotional investment. “I am originally from the Midwest but I got a job working in marketing. I really like the work you do, tell me more about.”
I am beginning to feel turned off by her forward mannerisms and eagerness for me to open up and elaborate on myself. Nevertheless, I am enjoying her company and her face is pretty so I reply, “I am doing a lot with my time, from work to writing and I am here tonight to find someone new to start the new year with. I haven’t had a girlfriend in a longtime and I would like to potentially find someone to date.”
11:30: The conversation continues for another twenty minutes when I realize I let down my guard. I reflect on my fraternity formal two weeks ago and the girl I devastated. This inspires me to not repeat the same mistake by leading her on, however I am horny and have no clue how to go about starting a relationship. I am inspired to inquire about her current dating situation to be sure I would not be sharing her with anyone else. I lost my virginity at the beginning of my sophomore year to someone who I discovered at the end of the term was simultaneously sleeping with someone else. To this day it has jaded my ability to trust women when it comes to relationships but I am willing to look past the two-timing bitch since not all girls are scheming whores. I am thinking to myself what the most appropriate move and course of action are at the moment. I am unsure of whether there is a right way to prove myself as a worthy candidate to date. I know if I hook up with her, I will certainly win brownie points, so this becomes my incentive to build a foundation for a potential relationship. She is a very interesting girl with unique perspectives on several subjects such as religion, liberal arts, education, as well as strong personal values.
11:45: I look at my phone and see several missed calls from Bergers as well as a text explaining how he’s been kicked out of his bar and cannot get a hold of DangerMack. I reply to Bergers, through a text message, that the remainder of my night is booked and I wish him the best of luck getting into another bar and finding DangerMack. I excuse myself from Hawk for a few minutes and step outside the bar after getting an angry reply from Bergers. I explain to him I met a girl I like and want to see where the night takes us. He reluctantly accepts the news and tells me to have fun.
11:50: I step back inside and realize Hawk is anxiously waiting for me to keep her company. I smile leaning in and kiss her on the lips and whisper in a sexy tone, “I’m not going anywhere.” She is very turned on and kisses me back for several minutes until she asks if I want to go somewhere a little quieter.
12:00: Hawk and I hail a cab and proceed to taking a lusty cab ride to her place in Brooklyn. I am feeling ambivalent about her since Hawk clearly has loose morals and poor self-respect and I am not in the mood to hook up with an emotionally needy woman. I am drunk and overlook her shortcomings for the time-being and anticipate a night long of wild and kinky sex. “

Check out the new video for the upcoming blockbuster of the summer “Mission Istaanbul”. It’s love at first sight, and sound! I just had to share it. For more, click on the “Mission Istaanbul” section of IndiaFM. You’ll get loads of downloads and the film’s trailer and songs. Oh, and it’s listed in the Man’s Opinion segment because, well, it all takes place in a man’s world! But thank goodness for men like these… Vivek Oberoi, Zayed Khan, Suniel Shetty and Apoorva Lakhia. The film opens in a theater near you on July 25th. The soundtrack, a mixture of Indian classics, Arabic sounds and with a lot of modern beats thrown in to get you jumping out of your seat, is available now at Itunes.

So, if this leaves you yearning for more Turkey, more Istanbul, more of the languid sounds, mysterious people and delicious foods, then check out my “Istanbul Accomplished - Third Time’s a Charm” entry, from September 2007. N-joy!

Do pick up a copy of Salman Rushdie’s new novel “The Enchantress of Florence”. It’s an amazing read and Sir Rushdie is at the absolute top of his game in this book. At the risk of being criticized for my statement, I dare say this is his best work yet! Which isn’t to say that I didn’t positively love reading “The Satanic Verses”, “Midnight’s Children” and even his lesser known work of non-fiction “Step Across This Line”. But “The Enchantress of Florence” is just so close to my heart - uniting the two cultures that have made me the woman I am today - and so full of amazing wisdom and humor. Sir Rushdie never ceases to amaze and delight and must be commended for always having the freshness to take us higher and higher, with each of his books. If you have any doubts at all, I suggest reading the piece I wrote for Chic Today, covering the Book Launch Party held here in NYC. And to see Salman Rushdie in a rare personal appearance discussing this latest book, do check him out at the NY Public Library on June 27th, at 7 p.m..

Check out the Hiroshi Murakami exhibit at the Brooklyn Museum before it closes on July 13th. Murakami is the fantastic artist who is best known for his collaboration with fashion house Louis Vuitton a couple of years ago, and those coveted bags with cherries, flowers and beads all over them. His genius lies in the concepts behind those colorful, almost childish characters and designs. Make a day of it and spend the whole afternoon in Brooklyn. For more info and to find out exactly what is nearby the exhibit, click on “Murakami and the BBG”.

I recently saw a gem of a film in a small movie theater in the West Village. Apart from the fact that every single man employed at the Cinema Village seems to be charmingly handsome and surprisingly NOT gay - for such an obvious location - the film itself, “Priceless” was something I would not have chosen to watch and was then SO glad I did! I mean, I hear “French film” and I think talk-talk-talk-talk-talk, subtitles too fast to catch, loads of unattractive men and homely women with unshaven armpits, all smoking way too much. Hey, I’m European too and it’s really not a myth about French women… But I digress. Anyway, my preconceived notions could not have been further from the truth. The film has it all, sparkling couture clothing and shoes, a charming (Moroccan-born Gad Elmaleh) leading man, Audrey Tautou finally playing the coquettish woman she truly deserves to be, and wide shots of Nice that will make you wish you could be there right now. My suggestion: run to see it before it’s gone for good, as it’s been around more than two months.

I am pretty partial to horses at it is and when they closed down Claremont Academy, on the Upper West Side, I was pretty bummed. People went as far as holding picket signs and chanting to the departing horses; of course I drew the line at simply mourning the end of an era. But the sound of hooves are thundering on the UWS once more, this time inside the American Museum of Natural History. With their current exhibit “The Horse”, the Museum celebrates the beauty, grace and power of an animal whose destiny will always go hand in hand with the American West. But for a laugh, do check out who the corporate sponsors for the exhibit are. I won’t give it away, but I’ll give you a hint: they tend to own a lot of… Arabians.

As soon as I saw the opening shot of the “Sex and the City” movie, I knew I needed to add some flowers to my wardrobe. Little did I know, at the time, that I would be able to own the very flower that Carrie Bradshaw sports on her awesome asymmetric white dress. YES, you too can own it, for just under $50. That’s not too steep a price for the kind of accessory that can make an outfit, not to mention turn you into the talk of the town. Instead of buying a $50 t-shirt or a $50 top, just add flower to top you already own and you’ve got a winner of an outfit. If you need to view the dress in question, click to the right of the site on my Virb account, where I have posted a photo from SATC. For the actual flower, contact M & J Trimming in NYC and ask for the “Carrie” flower. They’ll know exactly what you mean. Remember: Carrie flower + your top = WINNING outfit. N-joy!

It’s only fair that I should eventually combine my love of Bombay with my passion for chocolate. And the idea that my favorite brown gold is available in the city of my dreams, just awakened in me the forever latent desire to hop on the next Continental direct flight to Mumbai and go have me so CHOCOLATE! If you are already there, or are planning a trip soon, try out these posh locales.

Theobroma - Cusrow Baug, Colaba Causeway - For ten varieties of moist brownies (see the image top left for confirmation!) courtesy of Kainaz Messman. The price, a mere Rs. 30 and up (US equivalent, less than US$1!) Phone: 022-22873778. Oh, and now they’re in Bandra too, right off of Linkin Road!

Cooper’s Chikki & Fudge - Opposite Railway Station, Lonavala - For gooey chocolate fudge, sold by the pound. But word is, the stuff is always sold out by 2 p.m., so this is a chocolate treat for early birds! It’s also not exactly a “central” location, but worth the journey. Retails at Rs. 600 per pound, equivalent to US$15. Phone: 02148-72564.

Mocha - Outlets all over India, for more info click on Mocha - For its signature “Chocolate Avalanche” with fudge, ice cream, mousse, chips and sprinkles. I would have named it “Chocolate OVERLOAD” but that’s just me… Anyway, it retails at Rs. 145, which translates as less than US$4.

Alright, all that’s left for me to write is… N-joy!

Whenever a moment of weakness crosses my path, I refer back to Master Coelho and his “Warrior of the Light” manual. I bought my copy in Italy many years ago, before it became available in its English translation. But these days, nearly weekly inspiration comes in the form of his Newsletter. To get your own, go to Paulo Coelho’s website and sign up for it. Following is something that really came at the right moment for me, last week. Pay special attention to the paragraphs “Nothing is easy” and “Fear is natural”.

“In the Wheel of Time”

I had proposed to publish here, once a year, texts by Carlos Castañeda, an anthropologist who influenced my generation with his tales of meetings with Mexican sorcerers. For lack of space, I have not done so since 2004. Today I woke up thinking: Castañeda, despite all his critics and all his work that later on seemed so disorderly to me, should not be forgotten. So here we present some of his reflections.

Intention is the important thing: for the old sorcerers of Mexico, intention (intento) is a force that intervenes in all aspects of time and space. To be able to use and manipulate this force calls for impeccable behavior. A warrior’s final goal is to be able to lift his head above the rut where he is confined, look around him, and change what he wants. To do so he needs to have discipline and pay attention all the time.

Nothing is easy: nothing in this world is given as a present: everything has to be learned with a great deal of effort. A man who seeks knowledge must have the same behavior as a soldier going to war: absolutely attentive, afraid, respectful and utterly confident. If he follows these recommendations, he may lose the odd battle but he will never cry over his fate.

Fear is natural: fear of the freedom that knowledge brings us is absolutely natural; however, no matter how terrible the apprenticeship may be, it is worse to live without wisdom.

Irritation is unnecessary: becoming irritated with others means giving them the power to interfere in our lives. It is imperative to overcome this feeling. By no means should the acts of others distract us from our only alternative in life: coming in touch with the infinite.

The end is an ally: when things begin to get confused, a warrior thinks about his death and immediately his spirit returns to him. Death is everywhere. Think of the headlights of a car following us along a winding road; sometimes we lose sight of it, sometimes it appears to be too close, sometimes the headlights go out. But this imaginary car never stops (and one day catches up with us). The very idea of death gives men the necessary detachment to go ahead despite all their tribulations. A man who knows that death is approaching every day tries everything, but without feeling anxiety.

The present is unique: a warrior knows how to wait, because he knows what he is waiting for. And while he waits, he wants nothing, and in this way anything he receives – however small – is a blessing. The common man worries too much about loving others, or being loved by them. A warrior knows what he wants - that is all in his life and that is where he concentrates all his energy. The common man spends the present acting as winner or loser, and depending on the results he becomes persecutor or victim. The warrior, on the other hand, worries only about his acts, which will lead him to the objective he has traced for himself.

Intention is transparent: intention (intento) is not a thought, nor an object, nor a desire. It is what makes a man triumph in his objectives and lifts him up from the ground even when he has delivered himself up to defeat. Intention is stronger than man.

It is always the last battle: the warrior’s spirit does not complain about anything, because he was not born to win or lose. He was born to fight, and each battle is the last that he is waging on the face of the Earth. That is why the warrior always leaves his spirit free, and when he gives himself to combat, knowing that his intention is transparent, he laughs and enjoys himself.

Courtesy of Paulo Coelho Online