Now that’s a tall order, you must be thinking to yourself! But what is that wonderful Gandhi phrase “Be the change you want to see in the world”? Well, this is in that context and within the idea that the world can only be changed one step at a time, one person at a time, one thought at a time. It’s impossible to go stand on an apple box and change the world. But it is possible to stand in front of a mirror and begin changing things in ourselves that we just don’t really love in the first place… I know I will begin with me.

ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY

Yes. The reason we find ourselves in this outrageous economic situation is that the world has done away with accountability. The US car industry has been doing a horrible job of managing themselves in the last ten year? Why, lets give them a helding hand. The banks have been lending money to people who could never have paid it back? Well, then lets give them some more money, so they can make some more toxic decisions. Individuals have run their own financial status and/or their businesses into the ground? By all means, lets reward them with more money to waste, courtesy of those people who have been making solid financial decisions all their lives… See where I am going with this? This past weekend, Fareed Zakaria had on his CNN program GPS Edmund Phelps, the 2006 Nobel Prize Winner in Economics. Mr. Phelps hit the nail right on the head when he pointed out the following: “There is no more official recognition of what used to be the American Dream. The American Dream used to be that you’d go out there, you’d take some risks. You invest in yourself, invest in various ways. You work hard. And with some luck, you’ll make it. They’ll be various rewards in terms of pride and gratification. And of course — and now, the official dogma of the government is homeownership and Social Security. Why don’t we have a government that celebrates adventure, exploration, discovery, problem solving? I mean that’s — there’s never any talk of that.” So, how do we change that? By changing the way WE do business, in all that we do. If we make a mistake, lets acknowledge it, try to fix it ourselves and move on. There is nothing worse in life than being WRONG and STRONG. Go ahead, you know that saying “sorry” only makes you human and the word is simply one of the most beautiful ones to hear…

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF

By doing that, you’ll be more capable of taking care of those around you. Taking care of yourself can be something as mundane as going to get your nails done a couple of times a month, or getting a cheap facial once in a while. Even getting a Chinese massage from your neighborhood joint is a great stress reliever. But it also means exercising, be it yoga at home or running on the streets of your city (you don’t have an excuse NOT to do that! It’s free!) eating right and avoiding the excesses. Say no to that fifth drink, extinguish your cigarette and pour your prescription drugs down the drain. We all rant and rave about a clean world, but how can the world be green if our bodies are riddled with crap?

DREAM THE GOOD DREAM

If you can dream it, you can do it! I laugh at “The Secret” phenomenon because I find its principles too simplistic. If I want that red sports car, I make myself a vision board, put a few photos of red sports cars on there, throw in a handsome man driving one — for good measure, of course! — and POOF! The sports car AND the handsome man magically appear. That’s Bologna, and spelled the Italian way at that!!! Does it mean that all of those poor people losing their jobs left and right are doing so because they don’t have good enough vision boards? Or maybe the hungry of the world just don’t have good enough photos to put on theirs? But as much as I make fun of “The Secret” — could you tell?! — I also find that there is an underlying truth to its madness. Visualizing a good place for ourself is a great tool to get there in real life. The power of suggestion became quite obvious to me when a friend in Bombay recently took me along for a hypnotic workshop, conducted by Brian David Phillips. I came away invigorated and re-energized after having imagined a whole scene on the beach in the company of… I’ll NEVER tell. But anyway, what I am getting at here is that we all need to take short journeys to the land of relaxation, in our minds. Doing so with meditation, or even by taking a few moments before falling asleep in the evening to visualize a joyous place in our lives, is the key.

DISCOVER THE POWER OF JOY

Mind you, I purposely did not write HAPPINESS. I have always found that there is just too much pressure in trying to achieve happiness. It’s an elusive feeling but it also has this connotation of permanence. One must be HAPPY and maintain it. Instead, I find JOY much more accessible and by definition, more transient. One can experience a great burst of joy, and then go on with one’s life. Instead, trying to achieve happiness becomes this constant struggle. See my point? Alright, I’ll go one step further. All the women out there, I ask: Do you own a really great pair of designer shoes — I’m talking Louboutin‘ or Manolo’s — that you bought at a great sale for next to nothing? If you answered NO then perhaps you are reading this blog by mistake. You meant to find www.theelderlycat.com… Everyone else, I have your attention, I’m sure. For the men, well, think of your favorite Xbox game, or your beloved soccer/football/cricket team. Women: how did it feel to bring those shoes home? How does it feel to see them glistening in your closet? That’s JOY! Men, when you win at “Halo” or your team wins the match, how do you feel? That is also JOY! So, basically find the happiness in small things and you will begin to see life in a much better light. As corny as this sounds — hey, it’s on Oprah, it has to be a little cliché?! — start writing those things down, exactly WHAT makes you joyous in your own life. You’ll see the list grow day by day, and your mood improve with it. Before you know it, why, you might even be HAPPY…

RECYCLE

Duh! I mean, we have gone through this short list but the single, most basic way to change the world for the better is to change the little bit of environment around us, for our kids, our grandkids and their grandkids. We already live in a world where a luxury hotel in Bombay is right next to one of the biggest slums on earth. In the hotel, people taking baths in big bathtubs that hold twenty buckets of water each. In the slums, people waiting in long line for one bucket of water from the communal taps. It’s simply criminal. But the horrible truth is that the line of people standing in queue for water is growing every day. Longer and longer, everywhere around the world, and soon there won’t be enough water to go around. And just who was the genius behind this thought? Shekhar Kapur, who is working on his next film “Paani” — Water — about this exact horrible truth. So, what can we do to save our world? Take shorter showers, harvest rainwater, properly dispose of recyclable trash, buy biodegradable detergents, clean all surfaces in our home with a water and white vinegar solution to avoid poisoning ourselves and the environment, read newspapers and magazines online, share books once you have read them, encourage couples to only have two children each (mathematically it makes sense no?! Two of them, two kids), dispose of trash in the proper receptacles not on city streets, avoid using plastic shopping bags and carry your own cloth one and the list could go on and on… If you have any suggestions, please post them as comments and remember, if you are not part of the solution, you are part of the problem!

As I sit here, perched on the very evening of the Academy Awards with only a couple of hours to go, I will refrain from giving my opinion about possible winners… Awww, why not, I can name favorites, can’t I? I have two words for Best Picture, Best Director, Best Soundtrack, Best Song, etc. — “Slumdog Millionaire”, and everyone involved in it, of course! Anyway, on this evening, I want to, once again, share my very favorite quote in the world, and wish every single film, actor, actress, director and those important behind-the-scenes participants a VERY LUCKY night! And remember, it’s not important to win, it’s simply enough to shine.

So, here is the quote, courtesy of Marianne Williamson. Check out her wonderful website for inspiration, courage or even a miracle, when you feel you just might need one…

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won’t feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Marianne Williamson

While I was out there searching for something - was it that elusive feeling of “Happiness”?? I’ll never tell! - I ran across this fantastic article on Oprah’s website. It draws on those wonderful principles that Matthieu Ricard has dedicated his life to researching and spreading the word on. The idea that Happiness is a self-created, well attainable feeling, not one that simply happens by accident but is the result of personal hard work.

The article, written by Gabrielle LeBlanc, explores the following five principles:

1. Finding one’s Golden Self

2. Designing our own lives to bring in joy

3. Avoiding “if only” fantasies

4. Putting our best friends first

5. Allowing ourselves to be happy.

Amen I say to it all. N-joy!

Image courtesy of DocWhisperer.com

Would you think of meeting your stylish friends at McDonald’s? I wouldn’t. But the word Starbucks rolls easily off my tongue when I want to set an appointment with a girlfriend, work contact or out-of-town acquaintance. Well, maybe just maybe, all that’s about to change.

During NY Fashion Week, those of us attending the shows inside the tents have been treated to lattes, cappuccinos and espressos - con crema! - courtesy of McDonald’s new concept coffee shops, the McCafé. For this die-hard Starbucks fan it’s been a bitter pill - or over-roasted espresso bean - to swallow and I’ll explain why.

In my world, Starbucks represents an oasis of great coffee smell, large spaces and relaxed atmosphere. I love the efficient service, I like all the extra perks and - because I use it sparingly and only for those moments when I need to go and relax inside the closest thing to a Florentine café there is this side of the Atlantic - I really don’t mind the extra expense. It has been called all kinds of names and a personal favorite is “the Evil Corporation” but ultimately, Starbucks has got what I want. And I stand by my choice.

Mickey D, on the other hand, is a place that is built on the concept of fast everything. Fast food, of course, fast service, fast turnover. I read someplace that even their choice of music and decor is so that people will take the least amount of time consuming their meals. That all amounts to the very opposite of what my Italian background stands for. As an example, they had to eliminate seating at some outdoors café in Naples, because customers would simply sit there, all day, drinking one tiny, cheap espresso. My people linger, it’s in our blood. Stuffing our faces, or downing a coffee in ten minutes is just an alien thought to us. Which is not to say that you won’t find me occasionally at my favorite McDonald’s consuming their amazing french fries with extra red ketchup!

So, the final verdict on the McCafé idea? I’m fifty/fifty on it. It seems to have worked really well in Australia and it is moving, slowly but surely, into your neighborhoods. I like the fact that gourmet coffee drinking is no longer an elitist sport. I mean, we all deserve a good cup of coffee and Maxwell House ain’t it. But will this new coffee concept be a best seller with me? I think I’ll stick with the naked green mermaid for now, if you don’t mind…

So it’s THAT time of year again for the fashionistas of the world. Officially starting this coming Friday, February 13th - but having unofficially started already with several off-site shows - Mercedes Benz Fashion Week kicks off in NYC, at the Tents at Bryant Park. It’s my second time covering the shows and the events for Chic Today, but it feels like years apart from the frightened writer trying to get invites that I was just six months ago. You can check out my thoughts, posted on this blog just before Spring 09 Fashion Week started, by clicking here.

And Fashion Week this time around is also very, very different. For those of you who may have been hiding under a rock - I know the readers of The Ajnabee are quite informed and intelligent, so this is for that rogue reader who may have stumbled onto this site by chance, of course! - the global economy is at an all-time crappy low these days. People are losing their jobs left and right, corporations are losing their CEOs, CFOs and COOs to all kinds of corruption scandals and even the typically healthy British Pound is around 1.46 to the dollar, which is just unbelievable! Not even six months ago it was nearly one to two. I know, because I went to visit my beloved BFF in the UK and had a hefty credit card bill when I got home. And as bad as Madoff and his Wall Street clonies may seem, I believe we haven’t seen the worst of it yet. Our new beloved President Obama seems to have all the answers when it comes to alternative sources of energy, foreign policy and education, but even he is a bit baffled about what exactly should be done to save the economy.

At this precarious point in our history, a time when these types of games SHOULD NOT be played, NY Fashion Week is being held at a ridiculously close time with Fashion Week in London. Why? Who knows. It’s all a great, big power game that makes sense only to those who are behind the move. Something about prestige maybe, but it’s going to be horrible timing and a logistical nightmare for those editors who would typically cover both. Not to mention - from a purely selfish standpoint - that whatever I write for Chic Today towards the end of the week, will be overshadowed by my collegues’ pieces posted at the same time from London. The nerve! I mean, in my very little way, I am a real Diva when it comes to my writing. I like to see it up there, at the very top of the Daily News feed for at least 12 hours before some other piece comes rushing out to push mine off of the beloved top-spot! But I digress…

The lull in the global spending spree can be definitely felt in NYC these days. I was away for a month and spent most of the time in one of the most populated countries on earth, India. Upon my return it’s typically quite noticeable to me how much more space we have here, but this time it’s scary. I mean, to be at a sale inside Bloomingdale’s and never be shoved by some maniacal shopper looking for a deal is nearly unheard of. But it’s happening. Saks was nearly empty on a Saturday, Soho was deserted on a Sunday afternoon, it’s all very depressing. And all too real.

So Fashion Week is going to be different too, this time around. No lavish parties, no soirees organized by my favorite folks at Swarovski, no luncheons by department stores, none of that. Serious fashion presentations abound - some held at nightclubs so editors and buyers can then remain inside the venue and dance the night away - great fashion shows will alight the Tents, I am sure, but alas, no sight of those parties, champagne and miniscule finger foods to be found. And I won’t miss them at all. There is a notorious illness that goes around the city in September and February and it’s officially known as “Fashion Week Flu”. It’s a result of exhaustion, due to first covering the shows and then partying the night away with friends and colleagues. Not to mention, run home after it all and write about it before starting it all over again the next day. 

So finally, a bit of bitching about who’s been good and who’s been bad to me this time around. You know you want to read a bit of gossip and that’s exactly what I’ll give you! After doing a fab piece on her resort collection this past December, one designer had her PR firm email me that “Unfortunately, due to a small venue and extremely limited space, we are unable to accommodate your request this season.” Really?! Well, that will be the last time I write about a line that needs all the help it can get, keeps getting shuffled from one area of city department stores to the other, and is permanently on sale at Saks. That is called bad karma, nah? Then, there is another designer, she for now shall remain nameless, whom I covered last time around in September and she has simply “forgotten” to invite me this time… Thank goodness for a great friend and colleague who is bringing me along with her, just so I can confront the woman in person! And her useless PR clonies. But there are great new additions to my cache, like getting to see all three BCBG lines and attending the crowd-favorite Venexiana show this weekend. And some wonderful interviews lined up that will be a dream to publish.

So, stay tuned, check my column on Chic Today daily and always look your best. No, not your most expensive, but exactly what I wrote, YOUR BEST. I mean, Forever 21 is a recessionista’s mecca these days! Use it and N-joy!

Just when you thought you could wait no longer, “Dev.D” is finally here! Opening this weekend in NYC at Adlabs Imaginasian Theater, on 59th Street, it is going to be the film everyone talks about for at least the next couple of months. So don’t be left out in the cold and check out visionary director Anurag Kashyap’s latest masterpiece, starring the wonderfully different - yet still outrageously handsome - Abhay Deol. This is not your Aunties’ Hindi cinema, for sure! For more info, you can read my latest piece on Chic Today about this must-see film. N-joy!

Let me preface this by writing that I am a big fan of cherries. I will go to any lengths to get the “primizie” - what we call the very first crops of the season in Italian - and I typically never watch my wallet when it comes to this wonderful fruit! But as wonderful as the real things are, this week’s Chocolate Corner entry is absolutely divine. Think the wonder of Morello cherries - the best of the best, those dark purple ones that just burst in your mouth - mixed with a special cream liqueur and housed inside a thick dark chocolate shell. Got it yet?

Then you must be already looking for the link to the place where you can get some… In NYC, it’s quite easy. Just go to Leonidas on Madison Avenue and grab as many as you want. Their prices aren’t too bad for such delectable, heavenly bonbons. Otherwise, order a package - 1 lb is $36 - from Caviar & More, online. Either way, try this out and you’ll be sure to thank me!